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April 22nd, 2016

02:08 pm - The Silvered, Tanya Huff
The land of Aydori is led by two packs: the mage pack and the hunt pack.

Another country has declared the shapeshifters abomination, and invaded Aydori. They capture five of the best mages and dampen their powers.

They didn't count on Miriam and her stubbornness. They also didn't count on their interpretation of a prophecy to be WAY off.

I wasn't super into this at first, but it grew on me.

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April 4th, 2016

03:58 pm - Hamster Princess: Of Mice and Magic, Ursula Vernon
This is an absolutely delightful retelling of "The Twelve Dancing Princesses."

Harriet meets an old-lady-who-is-obviously-a-fairy on her travels, and if a fairy says she's hungry, it would be unwise not to share your lunch with her.

This is how Harriet learns that there are twelve mice princesses under a curse. Since heroing has been slim lately, she decides to check it out.

I love this series. Hopefully it will be out in paperback in a few years, so I can give it to my great-niece.

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03:44 pm - Slice of Cherry, Dia Reeves
Look, if your book is part of a series you need to indicate that in a way that will let people know before they try to read it. And if your book is NOT part of a series, it will make it a better book if you explain background things, like, say, monster attacks, EVEN IF you explained them in your last book.

Because a reader may not have READ your last book.

I don't know if this is Reeves' fault or the editor's, but it is majorly distracting.

Okay, so apparently this novel is a coming of age story with lots of murder.

Two sisters are the daughters of an imprisoned serial killer. They really want to kill people themselves. So, first of all (because there is magic in this world) one of the sisters makes a wish that they could make the bodies disappear.

She is given a way to make her "happy place" real.

Then the girls decide to only kill bad guys.

Then they find boyfriends.

This book is both silly and disturbing. It is also kind of ineffective, because I'm not sure what point it's trying to make.

Reeves SEEMS to be saying that serial killing is just a nifty way to solve problems.

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March 22nd, 2016

03:20 pm - Black Orchid, Neil Gaiman & Dave McKean
Sometimes I miss the days when I would have just felt vaguely unsatisfied with this book, shrugged, and moved on. Understanding why I don't like it does not make it easier to deal with.

Can we start with the fawning introduction by some guy I never heard of? It is especially impressed at how the book BEGINS with the death of a female superhero. How unexpected, et cetera.

So, yes. A woman is captured by the evil, and shot in the head. Beautiful.

Somehow the hero's death wakes up her.. sister? Something. She's a plant. She doesn't have a name.

Things happen AROUND this nameless woman. These things are done by men. Always men. She doesn't do much of anything.

The art's nice, though.

I'm just tired.

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03:12 pm - Fender Lizards, Joe R. Lansdale
Dot Sherman feels stuck in her dead-end job in her dead-end town.

That starts to change when a man claiming to be her uncle shows up, and when she learns a carnival with a roller derby is coming to town. Since Dot works on roller skates, she figures it's worth a shot.

I REALLY liked this book. It's just Lansdale writing the living shit out of a thing, and It's great.

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03:07 pm - Remembrance, Meg Cabot
I wasn't big on the Mediator series when it was for young adults, but I was curious as to what Cabot would do when the book was for adults.

Man, I didn't like it.

Background: Suze Simon is a "mediator," that means she can see and communicate with ghosts and help them move on. Her boyfriend, Jesse, used to be a ghost. (I don't know how that part works, i haven't read the other books.)

So as the book, opens, Suze is bidding on some boots on ebay when she gets an e-mail from a guy who apparently tried to rape her in high school, saying he bought Suze's childhood home.

Suze immediately calls this guy up to yell at him, whereupon he tells her that he plans to demolish said childhood home, in which case, her ex-ghost boyfriend MAY just turn into a demon or some shit.

In exchange for not tearing down the house, he wants Suze to let him rape her.

And she actually considers it!

Also, I get that there may be a swear jar at her job in a catholic school, but seeing as she does not get PAID for said job, it is kind of an asshole concept.

And her friends also doing this to her is beyond the pale. The entire thing is a ridiculous holdover from when the books were for children, and seems like a space-filler to me.

I'm sure everything worked out for Suze, but I didn't stick around to find out.

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March 2nd, 2016

09:27 am - Extraordinary*, Adam Selzer
*the true story of my fairy godparent, who almost killed me, and certainly never made me a princess

Jennifer acquires a fairy godparent (who prefers to be called a fairy godmofo, for good reason as it turns out), and makes three wishes. Unfortunately, as soon as Jennifer's wishes come true, he springs the catch on her: she has to kiss some other girl's boyfriend at the school dance or she will DIE.

I really liked this book a lot. My only big problem was the fact that Jennifer is supposed to be a Shakespeare nut, but she doesn't know that "Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon 'em," is a dick joke.

This makes this excerpt fucking hilarious:

And sometimes even working for it isn't enough. You really do have to have it thrust upon you to get you started.

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09:20 am - Tempest Rising, Nicole Peeler
His shoulders were very broad and elegantly muscled, his hairless chesticles crowned by the sweetest looking little nipples. Mmm, nipples, my own body purred.

Jane True discovers she is part selkie and almost immediately starts making the sign of the hump-backed water buffalo with a vampire. A vampire named Ryu, no less. Who is, like, totally in love with her.

Oh, and also there is a serial killer going around murdering other people who are half supernatural creature.

So yeah, this reads like a seventeen-year-old wrote it, but it was fun and I'll probably read the next one once I get over that quote.

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09:11 am - The Children's Home, Charles Lambert
Since the accident that disfigured him, Morgan Fletcher has lived alone. He has a housekeeper and occasional servants, but mostly he has the big house to himself. Since he can't bear the way people looks at his face, this is how Morgan likes it.

Until, one day, a baby shows up on the doorstep. For some reason, Morgan and his housekeeper (Engel) keep the child. And then another kid shows up. And another.

One day Morgan sees a child appear out of thin air.

Because of the children, Morgan and Engel befriend Dr. Crane.

And then things get creepier and creepier..

The book jacket describes this short novel as an inversion of the "children go someplace magical and save it" story, and it sort of is.. but it is also a very disturbing horror story for adults.

If that's what you like, check this book out because it is really good.

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February 16th, 2016

10:54 am - okay, I haven't updated in a long-assed time.
I covered some of the books I missed in my first solo podcast. Give it a listen!

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